Tit for Tat
The glorious morning when your mother emails you an image of a penis made out of sand and asks for pictures from the Amsterdam sex museum in exchange.
Click here if you're hot (clue: you are, mentally, physically, intellectually, grammatically, Tumblrry)
Join me as I storm through England, attempt to study in Liverpool and take the Euro Trip that’s been…
3 weeks ago - 
1 -
1 - I misread one of the side ads on Facebook as “How to grow your Beyonce” instead of “How to grow your business.”
Get vulnerable in my ask box.
Liverpool XO: Liveblogging Waiting for Pancakes
7.40PM - Wow, family. Nice to see you all. I don’t want to spend my summer in Oakville, I will cry every day. Someone can feel free to rescue me.
7.45PM - I suck a Spider Solitare.
8.00PM - The pile of candy wrappers is growing. Does chocolate make you fat?
8.20PM - It’s getting to be too late…
2 months ago - 2 -
2 - 
Me in a new fitness class at the gym
The best I could hope for is to be that crazy aunt
Summer to do, once again, most likely to be ignored, once again:
- Tan to a socially acceptable shade of Florida
- Stick to the crazy exercise program I’ve gotten myself into
- Actually read Hemingway, among others. Lots of reading
- Finish the 78-card deck, finally. Halfway there, ish
- Draw something worthwhile. Because otherwise, what is the point of taking art classes?
- Practice my French for 20 mins every day starting tomorrow, maybe, but if not, Monday
- Study for the MCAT/LSAT/try to decide on life after college
- Organize the SEDE event, write a project plan and an exit report, etc
- Write a series of short stories and send them from publisher to publisher, wasting money on postage stamps and licking envelopes
- Learn to cook traditional Ukrainian food so I am armed and ready to get to the heart of some poor bloke through his stomach
- Start writing poems again
- Practice the art of giving less of a shit at the same rate as I do now, so by the time school hits, I am walking sexy tanned ball of zen
10 products that should make their way to the nearest K Mart. Now
- Cellulite-be-gone
- Creep repellent
- Drink magnet
- Chocolate Zero (real taste, 0 calories)
- Temporary Breast Inflator
- Instant-Dry Nail Polish (like, actually)
- Stretch Mark Eraser
- Hangover-be-gone
- Plan B Boyfriend
- Spray-on Charm
